>If only you could stop time. You could use a good ten minutes to think of a game plan. A game plan that would end with this towering she-wolf not doing something drastic when you shoot a hole in her date night scheme by letting her know that Ariannis already called dibs on you.
>But you can’t stop time, so you need to deal with this now before it turns into a romcom-esque clusterfuck of shenanigans and misunderstandings.
>Still, you’re not sure how close you are to your destination, and it would be pretty awkward to sit here for the next twenty minutes after having rejected Eileen’s advances.
>Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself. If you just let yourself get rolled over by one lady after another, you’ll just get bounced around between them like a frighteningly disposable boy toy.
>Eileen notices the fact that you’re bracing yourself for something, and her cold stare become more expectant as her eyebrows raise. “Is there a problem with this, Dirt?” Her hand leaves her chin and begins tapping at one of her knees, waiting for your answer.
>”That’s my, uh, job I guess you called it, for Auntie Ariannis.” You manage to answer. Your hands ball up and relax anxiously as you wait for her response. You don’t THINK you’ll get killed, not with Ariannis waiting on your arrival, but there is no way you’re getting out of this scot free.
>The wolf on the other side of the limo shifts, and her head tilts once more. “Excuse me, Cousin Dirt?” She sits up straight and for a second you’re certain she’s about to pounce on you from across the entire limo. Now she’s also rolling her fingers, running her thumb across her finger tips from pinkie to index before repeating. “What is your job for Ariannis?”
>”I’m, uh…” You roll your hand as if coaxing the words to come out of your throat. “I’m Auntie Ariannis’s date for the party you’re talking about. That’s why I’m coming to this dinner; to get to know people.” Well, the deed is done. Now you have to survive the blast.
>If there is going to be one, that is. Eileen is pursing her lips, taking controlled breaths as she sits across from you. There are a few seconds of hanging tension.
>”You’re her date, Anon?” She finally speaks, and you’re not sure if her using your actual name is a good or a bad thing. Most likely bad. You nod in answer, and try to seem small when her hands ball into fists before releasing.
>Things go back to silence and this is quickly becoming the longest car ride of your life. Eileen is simply looking you over; you can visibly see her eyes dash over your body as if she was searching for something specific.
>Eventually she speaks up again, another question. “What is your relationship with Ariannis Labbate, Anon?” It comes cold and flat. This isn’t like how Ari would tease you, or how Eileen was chastising you when she was towering in your apartment doorway. With that tone, there is a distinct right and wrong answer to this question.
>You try to play off the tension with a half assed shrug. “She’s my landlady. I’ve been…convinced that taking this…,” you inhale through clenched teeth as you try to keep your poker face, “Job, as you put it, in order to pay for a few months rent.” You give another shrug, doing your best to play it off as no big deal.
>”So,” The single syllable of the word practically shoots you from the other side of the car, “This is merely a professional relationship, then? Nothing more?” Eileen’s eyes are half lidded as she visually searches you for any crack or inconsistency in what you tell her.
>Oh no ma’am, it’s not like you were knuckle deep in Ari mid-kiss the same afternoon she told you that you were just going to be her pretend boyfriend, totally sending you mixed messages. She definitely doesn’t know what your dick tastes like, and you definitely weren’t totally down to bang until neither of you could see straight that evening.
>Completely professional.
>Mental quips aside, you remember that you are supposed to be her pretend boyfriend to her peers. Eileen would be considered a peer, wouldn’t she? Does that mean you have to put up an act in front of her right now? Or is Eileen one of the people who would be in on the act and know you’re doing this because you have to?
>You really could use Ariannis to bail you out right now. Now you’re regretting not grilling her for more details over the last few days. You certainly could have used a list of names before now if you knew you were going to be pressed on the topic.
>So now you’re stuck quibbling on whether or not to lie to this giantess who doesn’t seem like she’s in the mood to be lied to. You can feel time ticking and if you take any longer Eileen will be suspicious of any answer you give her.
>So you go with casual racism.
>Purposely scrunching up your face, you wiggle your hand in an indecisive manner. “I’m not too sure. You would have to ask Ari- Auntie Ariannis. She did the whole playful predator thing while telling me about the job. Purring while poking me with her claws and stuff. Cat stuff. I’m not sure how she feels about this or what I’m supposed to do really.” You look back at the she-wolf and wait for her reaction.
>Eileen continues to stare for a few moments, before nodding and looking through one of the windows. Crisis goddamn averted. You’re putting bomb defusal experience on your resume if you ever make it back home.
>You sink into the limo’s cushions and allow yourself to enjoy the luxury of the vehicle for the moment. This actually pretty nice, if you didn’t pay much attention to the Tekken mini-boss sitting across from you. You decide to do just that, as Eileen seems to be caught up her own thoughts at the moment.
>The car is practically gliding down the road, and you stare out of the window to see where exactly you are. Eileen, between the necktie fiasco and her dating plan being shot down, kept you from paying attention to where you were being taken.
>Judging by the rolling hills and greenery, you are definitely not in town anymore. Close by though; you’ve seen the vineyards you’re passing by on enough gas station post cards to know you’re at the city outskirts.
>If it wasn’t for the fact that you were looking out of the windows, you would have never noticed the limo coming to a stop. It’s hard to see what is in front of the car, but from your point of view at the back of the vehicle, you can see a tall brick wall that stretches pretty far into the property. Just above the wall you can see a building with multiple floors, made out of the same brick as the walls around it.
>After a few moments, the car begins moving again, the lurch of forward momentum almost imperceptible as you move past the property gates. Now you get a good look at the building, and the first thing that comes to mind is how you don’t belong here.
>This is a mansion. Not some mass produced expensive housing that just happens to be big, but a proper mansion. Probably hand designed by a whole team of architects and designers, and built while the owner was lazing about in another mansion.
>It’s oozing class and status that you simply cannot match. You were kind of hoping that Eileen was a one off, but it looks like you might have to ask Ariannis to buy you a suit in the near future if this keeps up. You look like the help more than a guest.
>The limo curves into a driveway in front of a set of stairs before stopping. Well, far too late to back out now. You wonder if you’re supposed wait for the chauffeur to open the door, or if you can just get out of this closed space as soon as it pleases you. Eileen doesn’t seem to be in a rush to exit, slowly clambering over to the direction of the rear doors.
>When you look back out of the window, you find yourself breathing an unexpected sigh of relief. You never thought it would happen, but you are actually glad to Ariannis walking towards you.
>Despite having said that this is a fancy occasion, Ariannis isn’t wearing a dress. She has her own suit on, though she looks more like a busty black jack dealer compared to Eileen’s power business attire.
>The blonde feline beats the chauffeur to the door, and opens it herself. A grin grows on her face when the first thing she is greeted with is your relieved face. “How was the ride, Anon?” She sticks her tongue out teasingly, somehow still coming across silly despite the eye patch on her face.
>Actually, that makes you stare for a moment. The usually rugged, leather and bolts eye patch has been replaced with a regular, utilitarian black patch. Well, at least that means she swaps it out to suit the occasion. You wonder if they make lingerie eye patches.
>Your moment of glib passes as you pull yourself out of the car, “Nerve wracking.” You mutter under your breath with a half smile. Ari only chuckles back.
>Stepping clear of the limo, you turn around to watch Eileen’s huge figure somehow squeeze out of the door. Judging from her expression when she sees Ariannis holding the door.
>Eileen dusts her lap off as she steps out of the car, and brushes past you to start up the steps. You wager that maybe the two Aunties aren’t exactly the best of friends. “Come now, we can’t keep everyone else waiting.” Well, at least she found her voice again.
>Ari only shakes her head, dismissing Eileen’s urgency, “We’re early and you know it, Sister Eileen.” You jump a little at a sudden pinch on your arm, and look over to see Aritoying with your forearm through your shirt, “So, is that your tie or one of hers?” she leans in to whisper. The look on your face must answer her question, as she immediately bites her lip to keep from snickering.
>You walk side by side with Ariannis up the steps, something that Eileen notices when she looks back at the two of you. “If we’re early, then we have time to talk.” She calls back to Ariannis as the three of you walk into the mansion proper, past doors held open by vest and dress shirt wearing staff.
>You glance at the feline next to you, and she has just a confused look on her face as you do. “About what, Sister Eileen? If it’s business, then we will have to wait until Cousin Anon is absent. You know that.” Ari gently chides the she-wolf as you walk through the halls.
>The beauty of this building and its furniture would be catching your attention if it wasn’t completely absorbed by these two women and their conversation.
>Eileen seems hardly bothered by the teasing reminder as she keeps ahead of you. For someone so tall, she hardly is making a sound as she walks. “It’s about Cousin Anon. It would be rude if he wasn’t present for this conversation.”
>Okay, now you have to pay attention to what’s happening. In fact, if you weren’t paying attention to every detail about what was happening, you wouldn’t have noticed the slight stutter in the rhythm of Ariannis’s walking.
>The hint of irritation is immediately evident when Ariannis speaks up. “Well, what is there to discuss? You picked him up, didn’t you? Did you sit in silence on the drive over here?” Sometimes you’re not the sharpest person, but you can tell that Ariannis is trying her best to divert wherever this is going.
>Eileen, however, hardly seems to give a damn. “We spoke. I asked him a couple questions. But he dodged the last one.” Aw shit. That’s what you get for thinking you were being slick.
>Every now and then you look back to Ariannis to see how she’s reacting to what Eileen is saying. The annoyance is visible on her face but she takes a breath and puts on a smile. “And what question is that, Eileen?”
>The she-wolf stops momentarily to speak with one of the dozens of staff running around the building. This isn’t some small shindig, that’s for sure.
>When she’s done talking with what looked like to be a maid of some sort, she turns back to face Ariannis. “I asked Cousin Anon here,” she gestures to you, but never takes her eyes off of the cat next to you, “If the relationship between the two of you is completely professional.”
>You look to back to Ariannis and immediately your heart jumps to your throat.
>You know that expression. You saw parts of it from between her fingers before.
>It was the same look she had when she was about to murder you on your own couch.