>Be the bus driver to the "Lylat Cruise" band
>Driving across several states in a taco fest of a van
>Lots of singing and general cattiness
>Your ears want to die, despite their music being pretty good
>But you do a very good job of tuning them out
>Just focus on the road. Pretend you're playing Desert Bus
>Then you feel a tap on your shoulder
>It's the keytar doggo, Fay Spaniel.
>An angel, sweetheart, and pretty fucking cute
>Also the youngest in the band
>"You've been driving for awhile, you ok?"
>You've driven for longer, you're ok.
>"Mentally, dude. You've been staring at asphalt in a taco van for how many hours?"
>You've done it before, you can do it again.
>"Screw it, I'll humor you for a bit."
>So, you had a pleasant conversation together while the rest of the girls rambled on.
>You learned that she was a natural with music instruments and grew up as a valley girl.
>You told her that you were a small time champion of a demolition derby, making you very experienced behind the wheel.
>Then she cut it short, and her girly voice switched to a more serious note
>"Fuck it dude, wanna just skip to the handjob?"
>Fucking what
>"I'm bored. You're bored. I have needs. You have needs."
>You nervously decline. You're driving in a crowded and closed van, and you don't want complications with those who write your paycheck.
>"Don't worry about it. Now stop outpussying the actual pussies with pussies."
>You then ask her how old she is. She's textbook jailbait at best.
>"Old enough in some places. What's wrong with youth anyway? I thought it was an admirable quality, at least to those nerds on the internet. You don't think I'm pretty?"
>That wasn't worrying at all. Not. At. All.
>You tell her that she's very pretty and cute. Doing your best to try to rub her off. Figuratively speaking.
>"That's great! Now you and your friend are in agreement."
>God fucking dammit
>"How about it? I give ya a rub and a lick and that's that."
>She's poking it now. You hold off protesting, trying to ignore her.
>"'Yes' it is!"
>What. No.
>You tense up, feeling a paw where it shouldn't be.
>Now you're frozen. It's free. You're too stiff to even say anything.
>Tuning your ears to the other girls shows they are oblivious to the action in the front seat.
>She slowly pumps, spreading your natural lubricant with her thumb as she looks forward with a cheeky grin.
>She squeezes the base, giving you a shaky inhale.
>Then pinches the head, making you sqeek subtly.
>The tempo increases and you shiver.
>A glance at her tells you that she's taking care of herself.
>Horny little brat.
>You flick on the radio in an attempt to drown out the slapping
>It's a generic pop song. If it were one of their songs, they would have turned their attention to you.
>She then scooches closer to you and whispers in your ear.
>"Y'know... This is my first time doing anything like this in general. It's a good first impression."
>You're pretty sure she can hear you screaming internally. And you aren't sure if this is even legal.
>You shift a bit. Almost there.
>"At the next motel, you can make me feel like a real rockstar."
>Her head moves down. Then something warm and wet envelopes you.
>Final straw.
>Her muzzle bumps at the base as you shiver and jerk your hips upward.
>It dies down, and you're still driving straight.
>Fay pops back up.
>"See, that wasn't so bad. Now wait for the- oh."
>Minus the radio, the bus was quiet.
>You're so fired.