>Decide to walk through the park on your way home because it’s so darn nice out today
>Should’ve brought your hat because the sun is being a little too friendly with your retinas
>Decide to take a brave chance with an obscure detour through the woods, where all manner of beasts may be lurking
>Really though the biggest thing you’ll find is a deer, you just want the canopy to get the sun out of your eyes
>The roar of car engines from the roads nearby fade into serene silence
>Consider taking a load off and sitting on a fallen tree or something, just to listen to the sounds of nature for a while
>But out of the corner of your eye you catch a flash of pure white, the color of snow
>White?
>It can’t be an animal
>All the animals here have specifically adapted over the course of millennia to remain unnoticeable in a woods
>Even their poop
>Did you know that deer poop is surprisingly well-camouflaged on a bed of brown dirt, broken twigs and fallen autumn leaves?
>There it is again
>Now you know something is there
>Are you being stalked?
>Watched?
>Hunted?
>Maybe it’s a fabled albino cannibal deer
>Was there some folk wisdom about how to escape a forest? Stick to the right wall and eventually you’ll find the end?
>A very loud, shrill bark assaults your ears from somewhere very close
>Did you know that a fox’s cry sounds like the screech of a woman being murdered?
>An albino fox would be must better suited to cannibalizing humans, they actually have the teeth for it
>Time to run
>Pick a direction
>But ahead of you that white flash vanishes behind a tree, and you swerve hard left
>See it in that direction
>Zig-zag through the woods, leaping over branches and logs
>Until you realize
>It’s herding you
>Toying with you
>But then, salvation
>The end of the trees is in sight
>Burst out of the treeline and nearly faceplant on the pavement of the walking path
>Look back, to perhaps catch a glimpse of the beast retreating into the foliage, denied its kill
>Triumph, and the chance live another day, is yours
>“HRAAAAAAHHH!!!”
>Yelp with your feet almost leaving the ground
>It’s behind you
>Spin around so fast you almost get whiplash
>“EEK!” The creature itself jumps in surprise, in reaction to your own dramatic reaction
>“Heehee! HAHAHA!”
>… it’s laughing
>A high-pitched, jubilant laugh, like aural bubbles
>Or popping balloons, that better conveys how irritating the sound is
>Notice that the creature is floating a few feet off the ground
>Difficult to tell anything else about it but that it looks like a giant, flailing, giggling snowball
>As its mirth dies down, you realize you’re looking at a remarkably large bundle of white-furred tails
>Two legs poke out of it, kicking the air
>A pair of thick thighs clad in thigh-high socks tight enough to cause notable line of cut off fur
>The creature tips forward, revealing the face of a fox done up in eccentric makeup, with long, wispy eyelashes framed by a cloud of white hair
>She wipes a tear from her eye with a hand (paw?), white with bright pink pads, as her mirth finally fades
>A tiny, voluptuous fox lady with gleaming white fur floats in the air in front of you, reclining on her tails like they’re a beach chair
>She must be around three or four feet tall, yet her bust is far larger than that of most women you’ve ever seen, and she has the hips to match
>“You shoulda, you shoulda,” she wheezes, “…seen your FACE!”
>She bursts into another fit of laughter, jostling her already lowly-worn kimono even more scandalously lower
>A loosely fitting white kimono which billows off her shoulders to reveal a generous tuft of chest fluff between generous breasts with a generously deep valley of cleavage
>Covered with intricate flower designs and lined with sensual scarlet fabric
>The only thing holding it on at this point is an obi with a ridiculously large and elaborate bow knot tied tightly around her waist, making her hips seem to flare even wider
>Well now this is strange
>Don’t really know what to do or how to react, your mind is kind of overloaded right now
>So you end up waiting for her to finish laughing
>She does
>Stare at each other for at least half a minute
>You blankly and she from down her nose (muzzle?), smirking
>”Stunned by my radiant beauty, eh?” she says, subtly straightening her back to emphasize her endowment
>Well, technically, yeah
>She huffs from her nose, pleased with herself
>”Oh, it’s only natural,” she says, “I mean, just look at me!”
>She twirls once in midair, her kimono billowing like a dancer’s skirt and tails trailing after her like streamers
>Did she chase you through the woods so she could show off her… talents, to someone?
>She tilts her head as a puzzled canine would
>“Oh! You mean these!” she exclaims, then spins around and moons you, wiggling her shapely rump to wave her big, fluffy fox tails in your face
>“That’s right, count ‘em!” she huffs proudly as she jabs her thumb back at her behind, “NINE tails, baby!”
>That seems more like a freakish mutation than something to be proud of, you think to yourself
>“And as for how I can do this?” she says and spins once again in the air
>She tilts forward, breasts drooping inside her clothing, and judging from how short the fur spilling over the hem is, her chest definitely isn’t just fluff
>And she’s not wearing a bra
>She whispers conspiratorially
>“I’m a goddess.”
>She leans back to kick her feet up on an invisible desk, crossing her arms and smirking
>Practically see her imaginary chair about to tip over
>”Snrk…”
>She barely reigns herself in before she can burst into another fit of laughter
>”Just joking. Of course I know what you really meant,” she says, resting her chin on her hands, arms propped up on her invisible desk
>She not-so-subtly squeezes her huge knockers between them while fluttering her eyelashes at you
>Before you can respond, she goes on talking
>“You know, I can read you like an open book, kiddo,” the vixen says, “You’re thinking, ‘Why is this graceful goddess of heavenly beauty honoring me, a pathetic, pimply little teenage boy, with her blinding presence?’”
>Hey, you’re not a boy!
>You dropped out of college years ago!
>And your acne only flares up once every few months, now!
>She rolls her eyes, putting her whole body into the motion
>She props her cheek up on her palm
>“Oh, yeah, I can tell that a big, manly manlet like you is real popular with the ladies. Or anyone, for that matter,” she says
>Hey, that’s not very nice!
>In fact, it’s pretty rude!
>Even If just barely a tiny little bit true!
>“Hehe. Manlet. That’s a good one. Manlet. Funny word. Heehee… snrhk!”
>She must really think it’s a good one
>The vixen clamps a paw (hand?) over her muzzle (mouth?), unable to stop snickering, but naturally it escalates to chortling, which escalates to chuckling, to giggling, to laughing, to guffawing
>She grabs her head with one paw and slams her imaginary table with the other one, kicking her legs like she’s pedaling a bicycle
>Swear you hear the banging
>Her whole body spasms with mirth, her clothing almost falling off entirely
>Something falls out from the writhing mass of tails on her butt, landing with a thunk
>It rolls your way like a bowling ball down the lane
>Kneel, let it roll into your hands, then stand up
>It’s shaped like a giant pearl, glowing bright white like a star, translucent like a colored marble, but you swear that what you see when you look through it is not your reality on the other side
>Out of curiosity, hold the orb to your ear and give it a few gentle shakes
>“A-ah!”
>The little fox creature shoots her paw out as if willing you to freeze in place, eyes wide in alarm
>Well, that’s interesting
>Look her the eye and give the orb a single, hard, shake
>“EEEP!”
>She grabs her jaw and chomps on her nails (claws?)
>Whatever this thing is, it’s definitely not fragile, yet she acts like it is
>Must be VERY valuable…
>”NO! It’s junk! Trash! Totally worthless!” she blabbers, ”Hey, you know what, just fork it over and I’ll go throw it away for ya!”
>Balance the orb in a single palm like a basketball that you’re not too worried about dropping on the ground
>Ask, casually gazing at the surrounding scenery, what exactly this thing is
>She forces a very fake laugh
>“Ha ha. Ha. Ohhh, nothing importaaannnt~.” she says, batting her eyes at you like a bashful schoolgirl
>Uh-huh…
>“okaynowgiveitbackplease!” she spits out, thrusting both paws forward and wiggling her fingers (what are paw fingers called?)
>Heave it as if you’re about to toss it over your shoulder
>The “goddess” lets out an especially girly shriek, but the ball never leaves your palm
>Instead let it plop into your other hand
>Muse aloud that it sure seems important
>A thought comes to you as she pleads for magnanimity
>Cradling the pearl in the crook of your arm, you whip your phone out and put the world’s premier source of knowledge to the test
>Luckily, Google knows exactly what a “GOD FOX” is and you pop open the wikipedia article for “kitsune”
>Heard the word before, but no specifics
>Never got into those Chinese cartoons that were all the rage at school
>Skim for anything relevant…
>Huh
>“Huh? Huh what?” she asks, “HUH WHAT?!”
>Seems she’s less a goddess and more a mundane, run-of-the-mill anthropomorphic animal spirit with magical powers
>Quote aloud some choice bits
>“Hoe-shi no tah-mah”
>She gasps in horror
>“… Another tradition is that the pearl represents the kitsune’s soul…”
>She gasps again
>“…the kitsune will die if separated from it for long…”
>A brief silence
>She starts chortling, which escalates to chuckling, to giggling, to laughing, to guffawing, to delirious hyperventilating
>Her pupils dilate to pinpricks
>She kind of looks like a rabid wild animal
>She holds out her trembling paws, palms (pads?) up, like a beggar
>“T-that’s right, it’s very important that you give it back to me soifyoudon’tmind—“
>“…Those who obtain the ball may be able to extract a promise from the kitsune to help them in exchange for its return…”
>“Okay so whaddaya want, I got blessings up the butt, just name it!” she says, flashing her best attempt at a sweet smile but her razor sharp teeth and twitching eyes kill it
>Make a show of tapping your chin in thought, but don’t respond
>She actually starts whining like a canine
>Put away your phone and pass the orb back and forth between your hands while looking pensively up at the sky
>This time you’re genuinely thinking about what to ask for, but…
>Tell her that you can’t really think of anything right now
>“Okay well I guess if you don’t need it I can—”
>You’ll just have to hold on to it until you do
>The vixen stares at you, eyes wide in surprise
>They narrow to slits as she smirks at you with the kind of sly look that only a fox could have
>“Hmmm…” she purrs
>”What’d you say your name was, kid?”
>But you never said your name
>”Okay, then say it now,” she says, annoyed
>Tell her your name
>She slowly spins in a full circle with her eyes closed and arms crossed, committing it to memory
>”Alright,” she says, “You win.”
>This is pretty cool, it’ll be like you got a genie with infinite wishes
>A really hot shortstack genie who is also a Japanese fox spirit
>She flies right in front of you
>Turn away, clutching the pearl protectively, but instead of making a play for it, the vixen stands up straight in midair, at eye level with you
>She readjusts her kimono to look slightly less scandalous, and dips her head in a formal bow
>“Very nice to meet you, Anon. My name is Chiyoko.”


>“Ugh, where’s your gosh-darned COFFEE MACHINE!?” Chiyoko shouts, floating into the kitchen in a loosely-tied bathrobe
>Tell her to keep her voice down
>And that you don’t own one
>She frowns at you with half-shut, bloodshot eyes
>Explain that you don’t drink coffee
>“WHAT.”
>Be a morning person
>“UGH, my SOUL is being held hostage by a mutant FREAK,” she says, meandering through the air to your fridge.
>She’s definitely not a morning person
>”Hey ANON, where’s your BEEF?” Chiyoko says, rummaging through your fridge
>“I need my *meat*,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows at you over her shoulder
>Beef?
>Is she planning to make steak and eggs for breakfast?
>Seriously?
>Realize that she hasn’t really done anything genie-like for you ever since you enslaved—
>Contracted her into indentured servitude against her will—
>Convinced her to become your faithful guardian spirit
>Chiyoko’s gonna have to start earning her keep around this bachelor pad
>Tell her you have no steak and to start scrambling some eggs
>And that you like pepper on them and also you want some sausages
>Chiyoko glares at you
>“Oh, is THAT why you ENSLAVED ME? So I could be your MAID?”
>Remind her that this contract was technically her idea
>”There’s REALLY nothing else you want?” she asks, motioning toward her own body
>Yes, how else will you have the nutritional sustenance you require to take on the day
>She sighs like a teenager told that she’s not going to that party with that much skin showing and reaches into the fridge, but quickly catches herself and points at it instead
>”So, um, like, you seriously are asking me to just, like, make breakfast for us?”
>Um, like, yeah
>Well actually you never said it was for her too
>Chiyoko rolls her eyes and pulls out a carton of eggs and places it on the counter
>Then takes way too many eggs from it
>Tell her that’s more than one person could possibly eat alone
>She scowls
>”You’re serious.”
>Be confused
>Ask about what
>”What am I supposed to eat!?”
>Say you’ll pick up some kibbles on your way home from work or something
>”HA. HA. HA.”
>Say you’re unable to tell for sure, but that laugh doesn’t sound genuine
>Chiyoko breathes the loudest, most exasperated sigh you have ever heard in your entire life
>Her attitude instantly vanishes and she puts on her brightest smile, clasping her paws together sweetly
>Her arms squeeze her breasts together and puff them out like two big marshmallows
>”May I pleeeaaase have some scrambled eggs too?”
>Her eyes narrow
>”With an EXTRA large *sausage*…”
>Think that’s out of character for her to be so polite but don’t comment on it
>Must be that Japanese bushido
>Yeah sure go for it
>She deflates
>”Buttface,” the vixen huffs before she buries her own face in the fridge, butt wagging in the air with her tails
>They take up about as much space as she does
>You mean her tails, not her cheeks, though they do look enticingly plump
>Apparently Chiyoko wears a bathrobe instead of her kimono in the morning
>Which honestly doesn’t look much more different than her kimono and outlines her outrageous curves about as well
>What were you thinking about?
>Right, the tails
>Your apartment instantly felt thirty-three point three-three (repeating, of course) percent smaller the moment she flew past the threshold, despite her diminutive size
>But those things are actually not as inconvenient as you thought they would be
>The tails, you mean
>So far Chiyoko has managed to not swat any of your prized Taiwanese rock-chiseling sculptures onto the floor
>She hasn’t even herself ever touched the floor
>Ask her if she doesn’t get tired from floating all the time and the vixen stops picking an entire eggshell’s worth of shards out of a yolk-filled measuring cup to look up
>”Uh, why don’t you get tired from standing all the time?” she says in a mocking tone
>But you do get tired from standing too long, you have to sit down every once in a while
>”Yeah, just like I do!” she says, crossing her legs while sitting on her tails like a on chair
>While still floating in midair
>… Right
>Not that you’re complaining when you get to watch her rub those juicy thighs together
>She’s showing a ridiculous amount of cleavage
>Like as deep as a valley between two Mt. Everests, seriously
>Her robe is hanging so loosely and low you can see the bottoms of her breasts and a little bit of her belly button beneath them
>The waist belt looks like it’s about to unravel completely
>The robe drapes off her hips like a curtain
>Still can’t tell whether the little vixen is wearing any undergarments
>Realize how utterly shameless your blatant staring is
>But her body is so enrapturing that it literally dominates your vision, blocking out all other things and growing even larger, and larger, and larger
>Vision turns black as you feel like you’ve been whacked in the face with a very soft pillow
>Or two
>Instinctively pull back only for two tiny paws to plant themselves on the back of your head and drag you back in
>”Aww, Nonny, if you were after these this whole time you shoulda just asked!” Chiyoko says, her voice slightly muffled from all the fluff, and “fluff,” in your ears
>”I mean, I know I’m gorgeous, but even then, no-one has EVER leered at me as *long* and *hard*,” she says, emphasizing the two words by firmly tugging your head against her bosom each time, “as YOU!”
>She waits for your reaction
>Don’t react to being buried in a pair of huge fox tits
>”Hey,” the vixen says, and you hear the smile leave her face, “are you, like, paying attention?”
>She shakes her whole upper body, as if to get your attention
>She yanks your head out of her tits and glares down at you
>Have face be completely flat
>She shoves your face back in and shakes it even harder
>Could you call this a reverse motorboat?
>It’s like having your face forced into a propeller
>Except not as horribly disfiguring
>And much, much more pleasant
>But unfortunately it cannot feed the ravenous beast in your gut
>Your stomach
>Be hungry
>Pry Chiyoko’s paws off and free yourself from the busty fox’s embrace, using your overwhelming strength
>Those five pushups a day are really proving themselves
>Maybe soon you’ll graduate to ten a day
>Easy there champ, gotta pace yourself
>Plant a palm squarely on Chiyoko’s squishy chest and lightly nudge her away to get some space to breath
>Launch her clear across the kitchen as she tumbles head over heels, her tails whipping around like they’re caught in a tornado
>Stare at your hand in awe of your own raw strength
>Holy shit maybe you need to downgrade to two-and-a-half a day
>Or else you’ll end up tearing doors out of their frames and leaving craters with every footstep
>Look up and see Chiyoko sitting on her tails casually, smirking at you and otherwise looking no worse for wear
>Okay so that was actually her being dramatic, you’re not really that ridiculously powerful
>Stow the disappointment away in the very furthest, darkest corners of your mind
>Plan to brood on that later
>”Groping is supposed to bring people together, not push them apart,” Chiyoko says, pouting
>After a moment’s pause she huffs a deep sigh and raise her paws in the air as if beseeching the heavens
>”I swear! You’re twice as difficult as any of my kids ever were!”
>Wait, she has *kids*?
>She’s a *mother*?
>*She’s* a mother?
>”Yes, I am!” Chiyoko scoffs,”Why would you think I’m not, huh?”
>Put it bluntly that she acts more like a teenager at her sweet sixteen than the parent of one
>”So, like,” she says, scoffing again, “uh, you think that I’m just totally, like, a, uh…”
>She trails off, unable to think of a comeback
>”Wait! I have proof!”
>Chiyoko digs around in her cleavage and extracts a wallet with the same intricate flower patterning as on her kimono
>Wait that wasn’t there before
>She shoves it in your face, letting it fall open to reveal a long ribbon of pictures that reaches to the floor
>They’re traditional Japanese paintings, judging from the sparse brushwork and wonky anatomy, but each is the size of a photograph
>They depict anthropomorphic fox-people of varying sizes, engaged in varying activities
>Gently push the wallet back a little because Chiyoko shoved it way too close to your face
>Ignore the sting of disappointment when it’s not flung away like a bullet, leaving a giant hole in the wall
>Realize you’re looking at a collection of baby pictures and family photos (paintings?)
>A baby-sized fox-person plays with a stack of blocks
>A pair of fox children wearing backpacks stand side-by-side in front of a school
>Several adult-sized foxes wrap their arms around each other’s shoulders while grinning at the camera (artist?)
>A teenaged fox smiles wide, showing off a mouth full of braces
>”Okay, so, like, this one’s Takashi at age three~,” Chiyoko says, pointing at the baby playing with blocks
>”And this is the twins at, like, their FIRST day of school! And this is Sakura, Ryuko, and Kentaro back home for, like, their birthdays! We celebrate them at the same time, because they’re, like, SO close next to each other anyway.”
>Chiyoko pulls her wallet back to look at the picture herself, placing a paw against her cheek
>Her eyes swell with tears as a wobbly smile plasters her face
>She sniffs and sounds like she’s about to start bawling
>”They grow up, like, SO fast!”
>The vixen shoves the wallet back in your face and instantly shifts back to giddily counting off images of her children, her tears forgotten like a red-furred stepkit
>”My oldest has almost got his, like, EIGHTH tail! Can you, like, be-LIEVE it?!”
>Yes and no, it depends on the point of view you take on the situation
>”So this is all of us together,” Chiyoko says, pulling out one picture and unfolding it to show a big family photo, everyone lined up in rows and columns, facing the painter
>”We always have a reunion, like, once a decade! This is from the latest. It’s got, like, EVERYone here! This is Yoshinori, and this is…”
>Chiyoko rattles off names while pointing out each kitsune in order, but you’re too focused on one of them to listen to her
>There’s one vixen in particular, smack dab in the center of the painting, who’s much, much shorter than all the others
>Must be Chiyoko
>In the picture she’s dressed in an extremely conservative kimono, no patterns, no flashy colors, no skin (fur?) showing, tails almost completely hidden behind her children so they don’t get in the way
>Smiling a chaste, wholesome, and—
>Dare you say it...?
>Motherly smile instead of her usual saucy grin
>Notice that there’s no one posed directly beside her
>She’s surrounded by her kids, but there’s no sign of a partner
>So then who’s the father?
>Chiyoko freezes
>Her whole demeanor changes
>She folds the pictures back up and stuffs her wallet back into the depths of her cleavage
>Her eyes narrow to slits and that saucy grin you know and… recognize, spans the entire length of her face
>”Hmmm…” she purrs
>The vixen is suddenly right in your face, looking you straight in the eye
>”You wanna know if I’m TAKEN, huh?”
>But judging from the reunion picture she’s not
>”Hmph!” she huffs and sits back on her tails, crossing her arms
>”Yes, my last husband is no longer with us. He passed about a hundred years ago now,” she says, turning her head to the side and staring at an arbitrary point on the wall
>She sounds much more serious than she ever has before
>Almost frustrated
>Or even distressed
>”Buuut…~” Chiyoko says, glancing your way from the corner of her eye
>Just as fast as she changed, she reverts perfectly back to her normal self, what troubled her completely forgotten
>She turns her head back toward you and and smirks
>”That just means I’m back on the market!” she says, looking down her snout at you and heaving her bust up with her crossed arms
>What’s the ETA on that eggs?
>She’s absolutely incredulous
>”What is with you!? I’m, like, practically all over you!?” Chiyoko shouts, arms wide
>She outright grabs each of her boobs and flies over to jiggle them in your face
>”Look! Look at it!” she yells, “Isn’t it the best pair you saw, like, ever!?”
>Say it sure is, completely deadpan
>Don’t even flinch
>”So admit it! You want this!”
>Ew, gross
>No way
>She spins away, nose turned up in aloof superiority
>”Well TOO BAD, ‘cuz—“
>Chiyoko freezes
>Then recoils in shock
>”WHAT.”
>She glares at you, dumbfounded, mouth agape
>You’re not a furry, blegh
>Practically hear the motors in her brain whirring
>”THAT’S what this is about?” she exclaims, stroking the tuft of fur between her breasts, “My beautiful, silky, soft, fluffy, beautiful fur?”
>It would seem so
>”You’ve leered at me like I’m a hunk of meat, like, literally from the moment we met!”
>Say that just like Chiyoko can appreciate the skill and craftsmanship that went into your rock sculptures without being an enthusiast, you are certainly capable of appreciating the beauty of the female form without being enthused about her species
>”Like, come on, so what? I’M not a furry!” the vixen exclaims, ”I’m into humans!”
>She floats up to you and sticks her snout in your face
>”…Hu-MEN.”
>She tries to to maintain her steamy gaze but breaks into giggles
>”Heehee, hu-MEN.”
>So Chiyoko’s a skinny
>But obviously not in the physical sense
>She’s not pudgy but definitely very wide
>That’s a euphemism for her tits and ass
>Yeah
>Try to remember what you were talking about
>Think back through the conversation and get caught on one specific tidbit
>She said her husband died a hundred years ago?
>See numbers, equations and, complex formulas swirling around before your eyes
>Have brain whir hotter than a stack of GPUs mining the blockchain, putting two years of college-level algebra to the test
>A euphemistic lightbulb, representing a eureka moment, metaphorically pops into imaginary existence above your head
>That must mean Chiyoko’s over a hundred years old!
>”Uh, duh, immortal goddess here?” she says, pointing at herself and rolling her eyes
>But she doesn’t look a day over…
>Don’t know how to tell from sight the age of an animal between baby and decaying skeleton and that kind of applies to an animal-person as well
>She’s way past puberty, that’s for sure
>Also she’s not quite as powerful or majestic as a deity, more of a fairytale creature
>”Ugh, whatever, I’m OLD, okay?”
>Have thought that women aren’t usually so eager to admit something like that
>”And what would I have to be ashamed of?” Chiyoko smirks, “It definitely doesn’t bother *you*…”
>Make an educated guess of two hundred
>”Cold. But getting warmer!”
>Two hundred fifty
>”Half as warmer.”
>Two hundred fifty-one
>Chiyoko sighs loudly
>”Okay. See these?”
>She moons you again, tails crowding your vision
>See them very well, they’re difficult to miss because they’re so huge
>”Good. So a kitsune is born with only one tail.”
>Oh she’s talking about her tails
>”And she gets more the older she is, one for every hundred years old she is!” she says, fanning her tails out like a peacock
>Count the big, fluffy, white tails one-by-one
>Only need to apply half as much of your half of a college education this time
>Chiyoko has nine tails growing out of her ass
>So if one tail is a hundred years… that would be nine tails times one hundred…
>Say that that’s over nine hundred years old!
>”Nine hundred fifty-two!” Chiyoko exclaims, whirling around and planting her paws on her hips proudly
>She shoots you her thousandth lusty gaze of the morning, subtly wiggling her chest
>”Nine hundred fifty-two years of *experience*!”
>Get back to reviewing the conversation to recover your train of thought
>Remember she had said, “last,” husband
>Ask how many she’s had, then
>”Ugh, I’m not a *tramp*, if that’s what you’re implying!” Chiyoko says, offended, “I *only* make love with a man with whom I am engaged in a monogamous relationship! And, uh, twelve.”
>Wow that’s a lot
>”Some of them died young,” Chiyoko says, much less enthusiastically than normal
>She frowns and looks away
>”But no matter how short our times together were, I loved them just the same. I loved them all, each of them.”
>”So much.”
>A somber silence hangs in the air
>Chiyoko glances at you from the corner of her eye
>For once you can’t tell what she’s thinking
>Until her lips curl up into another grin
>”Oh, I can tell what you’re thinking…”
>Break out into a cold sweat
>Oh no
>She knows
>But how!?
>Have been hiding it so well!
>She glides toward you
>Menacingly
>”And yes, number thirteen is *very* available right now…” Chiyoko says as she bites her lip, “And it has been for a while now…”
>She leans in close, hugging her ample chest to herself, giving you an enticing view down her cleavage
>Panting hot, heavy breaths against your face
>Huh she must use mouthwash
>Her eyes hooded with long, delicate lashes
>Her silky smooth coat of fur, immaculately brushed, not a hair out of place
>The faint scent of… perfume?
>Not sure, you’ve never messed around with girly stuff like that
>But perfume would make the most scent-ce
>Hehe, scent-ce
>Like sense
>Anyway it’s wafting into your nostrils
>”And for all these years, I’ve *longed* for the *touch* of a *man*…” she says in a low, husky voice, trailing a finger down your chest
>”I can feel it, you know…” she whispers, “Your heart. Beating. *For me*.”
>Gulp
>”Y’know, I could help you…”
>W-with what
>”Getting past that whole… *fur* thing…” she says, smiling, “Help you appreciate the *woman* underneath.”
>Oh okay she doesn’t know your deepest darkest secret after all
>Tell her to stop being a creep and breathing in your face
>Chiyoko doesn’t move, studying you silently, searching your eyes for any hint of weakness
>Her brow is furrowed, mouth a thin line, unamused but otherwise unreadable
>After an almost uncomfortably long moment, she sits back, sticks her nose straight up in the air with a loud, “Hmph!” and returns to the mess of eggs and kitchen utensils that had lain abandoned for the past few minutes

>Stomach full, Chiyoko yawns, leans back, and stretches like a canine waking from a lazy nap would, minus the flimsy robe hanging off her abundant assets
>Her breasts slide to either side of her chest, nearly shucking off her robe entirely and emphasizing the fluffy tuft of fur on her collarbone
>She looks at you with hooded eyes and licks a fleck of egg stuck to her muzzle
>“Hey, I really needa pee, lemme use your bathroom.”
>Why is she asking you?
>Don’t have thought she was a grade-schooler, just as short as one
>”Uh, I don’t know where it is?” Chiyoko says, inflecting it like a question but intending it as a statement, “You never showed me? Are you gonna tell me or am I gonna have to go opening random doors and stumbling onto your stash of porn mags?”
>Hey, Rock Chiseler’s Bi-Weekly is not erotica!
>Also second door down the hall on the left
>”Arigatōgozaimashita!~”
>She disappears around the corner, tails trailing after her
>Lean back in your chair
>Ruminate on how closely she nearly stumbled onto your secret
>Turn thoughts to how soft and pettable her luxurious fur looked
>How it glittered in the light of your kitchen’s cheap lightbulbs
>How huggably, snuggably soft—
>Shake these vulgar thoughts from your head
>Thank the Japanese deities/spirits that apparently actually exist that Chiyoko didn’t suspect a thing
>Why else would she think you needed to be convinced?
>Glance at the clock
>Almost time for work
>Wait for Chiyoko to finish so you can use the bathroom before you leave
>Hear a door opening down the hall
>Sense something off
>It sounded too close to be the bathroom door
>But then that door would be…
>To your room
>Turn the corner into the hall barely after standing up
>See a bundle of fluffy white tails flicking merrily, halfway through the doorway to your room
>Shout at Chiyoko to get her chunky ass out of there
>The tails go rigid, and Chiyoko backs out of the room like a car in reverse, looking at you with her eyes wide like a fox in headlights
>Or maybe a fox WITH headlights
>Hehe
>”Uh, oopsIthinkIopenedthewrongdoor.”
>Stomp on over and stand between her and the doorway
>She strains to look around you into your room, like you aren’t even there
>Tell her the bathroom is the next door down
>She glares at you
>Say that if you see her searching for her genie bottle she’ll regret it
>Chiyoko squints at you with her jaw hanging open, palms turned up
>”For the last time. *It’s not a genie bottle*.”
>”And *I am not a genie*.”
>Refuse to fall for her her genie mind games
>”But you *could* fall for *me*…” she interjects with a smirk
>Point at the door at the very end of the hall
>Chiyoko slumps over, pouting
>”Yeah, yeah, I’m going,” she mutters and spins around.
>Tell her to stop when she opens the door to the bathroom
>”What.”
>Mean the door past that, in the wall at the very end of the hall
>”Wha…?”
>Chiyoko goes over to said door and discovers that it is the linen closet
>Tell her to go inside
>She frowns at you but complies
>Walk over and say she’s not allowed to touch this door
>Shut the door in her face
>Shouting
>Silence
>Have a chuckle and open the door
>Chiyoko looks absolutely steamed, tiny paws bunched into fists and cheeks puffed up while tears gather at the corners of her eyes
>She’s almost kind of
>Cute
>”Not FUNNY, butthead.”
>But it is funny
>Because she is compelled to obey you you create humor by disallowing her from opening the door on her own, effectively locking her inside despite the fact that she is not physically constrained from freeing herself, forcing her to stare at the unlocked door helplessly, your arbitrary abuse of this power to bully her for no reason other than for the sake of it only serving to heighten the humor
>”… Can I just use the bathroom now?”
>Lay down some ground rules first
>Don’t touch the door to your room
>”Okay fine,” Chiyoko grumbles
>Be glad that you had this talk and tell her she’s free to go
>Chiyoko flies into the bathroom and slams the door
>Say in your sternest voice to get back out here
>”WHAT.” Chiyoko shouts, poking her snout out of the door
>Order her to respect your property and not slam doors in this one-bed one-bath apartment
>”Psh.”
>Tell her not to give you sass
>Chiyoko sighs loudly like a kid told not to run in the halls
>She grabs the handle and makes to heave the thing hard enough that it breaks the doorframe but you catch her eye with yours just before she does
>She daintily drags the door shut, locking it with a faint click
>Go into your room to double-check your briefcase before you leave
>Papers, check
>Bags of paperclips to clip papers together, check
>Stapler to more permanently clip, that is staple, papers together, check
>Hear the bathroom open again
>See a flash of white disappear around the corner when you step into the hall
>Finally
>Go inside
>Meticulously comb your hair to a perfect shape
>Leave
>Quickly pop into the kitchen to get the bag lunch you made last night
>Open it up to double check its contents
>Plain peanut butter sandwich, check
>Peelable cheese stick, check
>Juice box, check
>Be good to go
>On your way to the door you see Chiyoko in front of the TV in he sitting room
>She points at your television set and looks to you
>”TV?” she asks
>Confirm that it’s actually right next to her, about a foot or two from where she’s hovering, in the direction she’s pointing
>She frowns at you
>Well if she doesn’t like TV she doesn’t need to watch it
>”No, I meant, can I, like, USE your TV!”
>Tell her you can’t teach her how to work the remote right now
>She sighs
>Remember you still haven’t made use of Chiyoko’s purported genie powers
>Tell her you want to make a wish
>”I’m not a genie! I can’t just make things randomly appear from thin air!” she says, flailing her arms like she’s trying to explain something to a very thick-headed person
>Ask what she *can* do
>”Uh, how about this,” she says, wafts over to you, and waves her hand in your face
>Feel the same as before
>Ask what she did
>”A blessing for luck,” Chiyoko says, “Now you’re gonna be real lucky today. Woohoo.”
>Point out that she doesn’t sound very excited when she says, “Woohoo.”
>”Whatever, just go do whatever it is you… whatever,” Chiyoko trails off, going back the TV
>Say bye to Chiyoko on your way out while putting your hat on
>She grunts in acknowledgement and doesn’t even look away from the blank TV screen she’s hovering in front of
>It’s only a couple inches away from her nose, way too close for her to actually be paying attention to whatever show she’s watching
>Well she’s a grown-ish woman, let her do what she wants


>Walk up the steps to your apartment after quite a day
>Got promoted at work
>Helped an old woman cross the street and thanked with twenty bucks
>Rescued a child’s cat from a tree and celebrated for your virtue and bravery by the gathered crowd
>Tripped a petty thief evading the police, allowing them to capture, arrest, and inevitably sentence to fifteen years in prison for marijuana possession, him, and rewarded with a get-out-of-jail free card normally reserved for friends and family of members of the police officers’ union
>And finally, found an immaculately shining quarter just laying there next to the curb
>Slam the door open with a loud crash
>Be fucking furious
>Shout for Chiyoko to get her fat ass out here
>Chiyoko screams and jumps up from the hammock she had set up in the sitting room
>Her fur stands on end and her tails puff out into almost literal spherical cotton balls
>She backs up as you stomp over
>Snarl in her face as you ask if she thinks she’s fucking funny
>If she think’s she’s a goddamn comedian
>”W-w-wha…?” Chiyoko stutters
>She trembles with fear and confusion, on the verge of bursting into tears
>Shove the quarter you found right in her face
>She stares at it
>She stares at it some more
>Her expression turns from fear and confusion to just confusion
>She waits for you to say something
>Say nothing
>”Um, what… is this about?” she asks, cautiously
>Ask if this is really the best that she can do
>If this is really the extent of all her hyped up magical genie powers
>”I’m not a genie!”
>Agree that she’s not a very good genie at all
>If a single gutter quarter is to go by
>Chiyoko scoffs
>”Like, a blessing isn’t a *wish*! It’s, like, a little thing that makes things just, like, go a little better than normal!”
>So she’s too lazy to actually grant her wish so she tries to substitute it for an inferior product and hope no one notices
>”I never said it was a wish!”
>Sigh and say you’re not going to argue about something as dumb as this of all things
>Chiyoko babbles while waving her arms around frantically, apparently flabbergasted about something
>Tell Chiyoko to save the childish bickering, it doesn’t suit a woman of her age
>She throws her arms up in the air with a loud “UGH!”
>Tell her to stop acting her size and come eat dinner
>She follows you into the kitchen, frowning, but not at the promise of food
>Dump the contents of the plastic bags you brought back on the table
>Chiyoko stares at the dog bowl you slide her way after filling it with a small bag of kibbles
>”A-are,” she says, baffled, pointing at it, “Are you serious? Like, seriously serious?”
>Apologize and pop open the can of wet food you got
>Spoon a healthy serving of chicken chunks into the bowl
>Chiyoko stares at it even longer
>Oh right
>Place the bowl on the floor
>Huh, now she’s staring at *you*
>Tell her to eat it or it’s gonna get warm
>Pull out a cut of beef and some side dishes to treat yourself to a delicious steak dinner
>Roll up sleeves, wash hands, and tie on apron upon which the words, “DON’T TOUCH THE COOK,” are written in bold capital letters
>Good hygiene is critical when preparing a meal, don’t want to risk spreading germs from someone who might not have washed their hands (or paws)
>”What!!! The Fudge!!! Is This???” Chiyoko says, waving the steak in your face
>Your meat
>Immediately she starts grinning, all sorts of ideas popping into her head
>Then shakes her head, trying not to distract herself with flirtatious innuendos
>”Anyway, you’re very funny, okay? Now get out the other steak and stop worrying me.”
>About what
>Chiyoko points at her dinner on the floor in the corner, one eye twitching
>Ask if you got the wrong flavor
>Chiyoko’s pointing paw slowly curls into a trembling fist as she bites her lip almost to the point of bleeding
>She spins 180 degrees, whipping you in the face with her tails and floating toward her food
>Wow what a
>Foxes are canines right?
>So a female fox would still be called…
>Whip out your phone (WITHOUT hitting anyone in the face with it!) and google gender terms for female foxes
>Huh
>Did you know that female otters can also be called bitches?
>And so can female foxes
>Anyway Chiyoko is one
>And now she’s levitating in front of you
>Holding her food bowl over your head
>As she slowly tilts it
>Tell her to not dare
>She tilts it a little more
>She’s supposed to obey you!
>That makes her back down—
>”I’m prepared to accept the consequences,” she says, steely determination on her face
>No it doesn’t
>Ask why she didn’t do this earlier today
>”You weren’t trying to make me eat dog food!”
>Threaten to get her a cheaper brand next time
>That just makes her frown for some reason
>Tell her you’ll put a collar and leash on her
>”Kinky,” she smirks, raising one eyebrow
>Shit
>Tell her you’ll throw her magical genie orb in the toilet
>”NOT. A. GENIE.”
>Threaten to get out your hammer and chisel and carve a dick into her soul
>She stops smiling
>”Don’t do that,” she says, “That will actually hurt.”
>Then she’d better stop acting out, put that bowl back on the floor and eat her dinner
>She brings the bowl back down and for a long moment, Chiyoko looks up to the ceiling in such deep thought you wonder if she is contemplating not just the immediate consequences of her actions but searching the stars for the answer to one of the eternal questions to have confounded the human race for millennia, like the meaning of life, or the source of morality, or when Episode 3 will come out
>Chiyoko looks back at you from the corner of her eye and grins
>”Oh, I KNOW you wouldn’t do that. You’re a butthead, sure, but you wouldn’t, like, ACTUALLY hurt a lady like that.”
>Aw, it’s sweet that she would regard your moral character so highly
>But what about that time you effectively locked her in a linen closet for shits and giggles
>Or that time you screamed in her face because you were angry about a gutter quarter
>Or that time you held the physical manifestation of her soul hostage
>Chiyoko’s face indicates that she does, in fact, remember those times
>She flips the bowl over

>”Ow. Ow. Ow.”
>Chiyoko lies frontside down on the backrest of the couch, looking very much like a lazy cat
>Or a melancholy dog
>”I can’t believe you actually did that,” she mutters, the entire upper part of her head humorously moving while her chin stays completely still
>She stares straight ahead at nothing, from any or all of exhaustion, pain, embarrassment, betrayal, sadness, dejection, etc.
>It’s been a while since you broke out the twins but you’d say you carved a pretty fine dick into that magical pearl
>”Twins. Tits. Haha,” Chiyoko says, “I have two of them. They’re big.”
>”But seriously that fudging hurts. I don’t know if that can even be sanded off. I might have to live with that stain on my soul forever. Literally forever. I’m immortal.”
>”I’ll never be clean again.”
>She points her nose toward you, sitting at the other end of the couch
>”That was mean. That was *really* mean.”
>She sounds tired
>Not even angry
>Just
>Exhausted
>Absolutely miserable
>No hint of her usual light-heartedness or flirtation
>Her behavior is completely alien, to the point that it makes you extremely uncomfortable
>Suddenly you feel like you had a massive overreaction
>All that happened was you got a few kibble crumbs in your hair and a few small sauce stains on your shirt
>Luckily the TV is on
>Allow it complete dominion over your consciousness so you can just ignore your problems and act like that will make them go away
>Chiyoko is staring at you silently but thankfully you don’t know what expression with so you don’t have to feel too bad about possibly having genuinely hurt her feelings
>So you don’t feel like too much of a gigantic fucking cunt
>Hear a very loud, wet sniffle come from Chiyoko’s direction
>Pretend that you didn’t
>”W-well… g-good… good night…”
>Say good night
>Realize she sleeps on her hammock in this room
>Turn your head just as she rounds the corner
>Her tails trail behind her completely limp, like a dead animal fastened to the back bumper of a slowly moving car
>Listen after her
>Hear the door to the linen closet open and shut
>Oh come the fuck on
>Go over and look in the linen closet
>Find Chiyoko curled up like a dog on the floor in the dark, staring up at you with wide, watery, sad-puppy eyes
>Practically hear Sarah McLachlan imploring you donate to help save innocent animals from neglect and help rescue them from their abusers
>Oh come the fuck on
>She flinches as though you were about to hit her
>Oh come the fuck on
>She hides her face under her paws and whines like a beaten dog while her entire body trembles
>Oh come the fuck on
>Wait until it’s obvious she won’t stop her little act
>Sigh and close the door on her
>Think better of it and unclose the door
>Make it clear to her that she’s free to leave the closet whenever she wants
>Leave it wide open while you go to bed
>Just before you step into your room catch a glimpse of a white paw pulling the door shut again
>Oh come the fuck on
>Be left to your thoughts as you get ready for bed
>Think about how you’ve been treating Chiyoko
>Think about how it’s kind of weird to treat her like an actual animal considering her very-sexy-human-womanliness
>Feel a little bad for demeaning her so egregiously
>Shake your head and resolve to apologize to Chiyoko in the morning, hoping a little time and distance will make her more likely to forgive you
>Suddenly take an interest in actually learning more about Japanese siprituality and mysticism so you can understand her better
>Surf the web for fun, cool edutainment like you did when you were young
>Learn about Shinto, the traditional religion of Japan, and have fun at the same time
>Learn cool facts like how one can not only become physically impure but also spiritually impure
>Like how jumping into a puddle of mud stains your clothes and gets you dirty
>Only it’s with your very soul
>Realize that by carving the image of a penis into Chiyoko’s hoshi-no-tama you’ve kind of literally stained her soul
>Learn more cool facts like how sullying a sacred place or object associated with a kami, like Chiyoko and her pearl, can cause the kami to develop a grudge against you
>And haunt you as a vengeful spirit
>Oh man
>Oh god
>Oh man oh god oh man
>Oh fuck
>You need to make it up to her as soon as possible
>Or else your genie will turn into a little girl with stringy black hair who crawls out of a television screen
>Like in that horror film
>The Shining
>But for now it’s sleepy time
>Have thoughts unintentionally but naturally turn completely to Chiyoko’s body after thinking about her very-sexy-human-womanliness earlier
>Feel raunchy
>Decide to indulge before bed
>Open your laptop and navigate to your password-protected folder labeled, “BORING_STUFF”
>Input the password
>”actuallynotboring”
>Be presented with two sub-folders
>”PORNOGRRAPHY,” and “NOT_PORNOGRAPHY”
>Open, “PORNOGRAPHY,” without hesitation
>Access your gigabytes of cute animal pictures
>Reflect on your cleverness
>The trick is that your pornography folder does not actually hold pornography
>It’s actually hidden in the, “NOT_PORNOGRAPHY,” folder
>In case anyone were to somehow decrypt your unbreakable cipher, they would naturally be drawn to check the folder that promises pornography only to uncover innocent, completely wholesome images of kitties, doggies, and other adorable critters of all kinds
>Leaving your gigabytes of big-tiddy anime woman completely untouched
>Completely foolproof
>Satisfy your urges
>Your urges to coo at and imagine petting soft, fluffy baby bunnies
>Feel completely relaxed and ready for a restful night’s sleep after meeting your cuteness quota for the day
>Just before you lock your stash back up, pause as a thought comes to you
>Open two pictures and examine them side-by-side
>On the left a floofy fox asleep in a nest of pillows
>On the right a hot anime chick
>Stare at them a while
>Feel the cogs in your brain turning
>If only there were some way to combine your two favorite things in the world…
>Shake your head, which is starting to throb
>This is too much to puzzle out so late at night
>Go to bed, that promise of a restful night’s sleep forgotten
>Instead, toss and turn as you are tortured by a terrible night terror
>You’re in a convenience store
>You’ve come to purchase your favorite snack:
>A stick of butter
>Snap your fingers in the face of the cashier, who looks like she’s about pass out from lack of sleep
>Or utter boredom
>Or both
>She rings you up and asks cash or credit
>Reach into your jacket pocket and pull out your—
>Fail
>Chuckle in embarrassment as the cashier glares at you
>Reach for your—
>It won’t budge
>Feel the sweat roll down your face
>Suddenly your jacket drags you to the floor like you’re tied to a boulder
>Hear bubbly laughter from the cashier
>You’d recognize those huge jiggling breasts anywhere
>The cashier is Chiyoko
>Pointing and laughing at you
>But you can’t escape
>The wallet, it’s… so heavy