>It was a slow Saturday night at the dorms
>Your partners in crime, Brad and Thad, had left to see their families for the holidays and you didn't want to head to the bars alone 
>You might not be having a good time but you didn't need to have a good time to get drunk
>Halfway through your glass of vodka sprite an idea struck you
>Why not mess with those nerd bitches on Furchan?
>Those girls might be spergy misandrists but you've seen enough threads derailed by cocklust to know their base instincts often won out over their prejudices
>You knew what to do
>Peeling off your shirt you sat down at your desk
>You strategically unbuttoned your pants to reveal a tantalizing glimpse of your briefs-covered nethers
>Finally, to top it all off, you took a sharpie and wrote "Hi /v/ :)" onto your chest
>You opened the site up and navigated to the prime board for shitposting. The board was ostensibly a place for nerds to argue over their cringy nerdshit of choice but in practice it was a dumping ground for bitter weirdos who seemed determined to discuss anything besides the board's eponymous topic
>You quickly posed for the camera
>That'll do
>You promptly uploaded it onto the board with the caption "What's your favorite game with human bois in it?"
>Within a few seconds of posting you got a reply
>Before you could finish reading it a second reply came in
>And then another
>Soon the posts began flooding in, to the point you couldn't keep up 
>Most of the messages were pretty similar anyway
>Beyond a few [SURE SMELLS LIKE VIDEO GAMES IN HERE] and [Why are m*n such whores?] posts the overwhelming majority of replies were desperate attempts to get something more
>[PLEASE BE IN LONDON]
>[>Show us your dick slut]
>[I see you're a male gamer. 'tis an awesome thing to see!]
>More interesting to you, however, were the unsolicited selfies that came rolling in
>An otter's Kingdom Hearts hoodie pulled up to reveal a modest pair of Cs
>A poodle with a Black Sun flag on her wall tugging on her nipple piercings
>A bespectacled deer, pants halfway down her thighs, flaunting her hairless pussy in the mirror of what looked like a school restroom
>And finally a boar with breasts nearly the size of your head. One of the few consolations of being a fat chick, you supposed
>Finally, just before the thread hit bump limit, the thread vanished
>The mod must have finished getting off 
>A message from her in the ban window read "Please just go to /soc/ next time. Also you're only 2 counties away from me hmu 738-456-1453"